I had this idea to share what a typical day in my life is like and every time I think about it, I start and then I get busy or I try to remember and when I actually have a chance to sit and document I have forgotten most of it and I’m just so darn tired that I just say to myself, “they’d much rather have good products and service and images or WHATEVER as opposed to ME sharing MY daily ins and outs.” I felt differently today … Today is my first day off since July 7th.
This won’t be a “at 10a I did this and at 7p I did that” but something that gives some perspective and sheds a bit of light into a typical day or week of mine. I will start with my break down yesterday.
Yesterday was my last day in New York and my flight at 5:30P would end my insane travel schedule. I woke up and smiled as I looked out of the window from the Eventi hotel (the only place I stay when in NY) and said to myself, “you made it!” I have been going nonstop working every single day since July 7th and I didn’t complain, I didn’t cancel anything, I just DID everything I was obligated to do. I put on my workout clothes and went for a walk … Saw these girls walking without shoes on and still dressed from the night before and chuckled to myself – they’re living the life.
I then went to my favorite drug store C.O Bigelow and bought goodies and then I got a instagram that I was tagged about the disappointment in the September curlBOX. I can typically handle such things. Though it will never make me feel good, I had to come to terms with the fact that I will never be able to please everyone (though I would like to).
I saw the note and my first reaction was anger because it was from someone that I thought would have felt comfortable with just calling me and saying, “hey … not feeling it.” I’m OK with that. This is someone that I had convinced other companies to send products to because I felt she had so much influence. I even asked to treat her to lunch when in NY the last time because that’s how much I LOVED her.
So the next feeling was hurt.
I walked back to my hotel … My smile that I got from laughing at the party girls turned into a frown. I put the key in my hotel room door … dropped my bag and collapsed on the floor and the tears flowed. I have never been a “woe is me” kind of person but I literally was just like “I’m TIRED … My body is TIRED and now my soul is under arrest.“
What many don’t understand is that all of this business is done from my heart. I want you to have more and better so when I’m striking up deals, I offer up myself (my person) (appearances, blogs, videos, hosting events, etc) in exchange for MORE ounces and exceptional brands. Whatever they want me to do so that you can get more than just “a .25 oz sample,” I’ll do. If that means I will get on 12 flights in 30 days, I’ll do it. If that means I miss baby showers, birthday parties, house warmings, and so on, I’ll do it. If that means I have to stay up 24 hours to get everything done, I’ll do it. Whatever it takes … I WILL do it.
So to be contacted on the day before I would have my first rest day in two and a half months devastated me. I’m human. In my mind I think that there could be a box of ALL samples and regardless of how much the full sized cost, if you had a box of little samples the cost of each wouldn’t really matter right? BUT what if we could get some in full sizes? Isn’t that better than 1 oz? 1 oz of everything or surprise you each month with some full sized goodies? But then the comparisons begin … I wanted that because she has it or I think that has more value than my product though the purpose of the program is to try everything for a lot less until you find your staples.
When you have a public persona people will convince you that you have to be concerned with your “public persona” and make sure that you always appear to be OK. In doing that, people turn to vices, become unhealthy and even suicidal because they have been lead to believe that showing emotions is a sign of weakness … I do not believe that to be true.
It is OK to say that something hurt you. My thought process is that the reason that there are ranges in emotion is for us to use them all. You will never be in one all of the time but you absolutely have the right to rest in any of them anytime you see fit. Feeling sad? Feeling blue? Feeling fly? Feeling amazing? From day to day … You are entitled to experience them all and I am too.
I have created many positive ways for us to have dialogue and I’d love it if we used them. The way change happens is by coming together as adults and having dialogue without attacking one another. If I slam my foot on your toe to get your attention, I will have it but you won’t be happy … But if I tap your shoulder and say “excuse me” and bring my concerns to your attention, I bet I have all ears and CHANGE will happen.
I’m not sure if I’m doing this right or if I’m doing anything right but I want you to know that I do my absolute best every single day. I give this all that I have and even some stuff I don’t have. I’m not asking for pity but I am asking for understanding, patience and consideration. I promise to give you the same.